so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
