just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
