i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
