Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
