I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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