Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
