Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
