How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
vagina is talking i cant
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
