THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
