Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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