Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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