So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
