The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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