why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
