He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You are the jesus of drinking
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
