dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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