every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
