ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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