3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
