I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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