He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
