I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
