god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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