He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
