is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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