You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry about my life...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
