just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
be right there i have to get my cape
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
