The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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