how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
