and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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