remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
