I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
