we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
