if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
