Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize