She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Text me some of your sweat
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
