Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
