So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
