i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
