do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
