I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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