Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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