i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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