Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
