Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
