honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
