Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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