okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
