Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
