in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
