The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
