I think I won the penis lottery.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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