i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
