I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
