Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
