This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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