I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
vagina is talking i cant
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
