After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
