Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
