yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
