I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
