We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
