it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
