Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
