there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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