Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize