Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
