sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize