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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize