Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
