First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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