After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
