420 ftw
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
