Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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