hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
barbara walters just said penis...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
